Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
