Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
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