I forgot how hot balto sounded
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
