he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
