what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
