You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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