Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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