It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize