also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
