idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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