I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
