I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Randomize
