He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
