I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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