i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
