Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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