yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
