can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
