At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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