I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
