I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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