I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
