There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
