One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
