First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize