last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
