I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
