Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize