You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize