I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
