Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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