Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Mom said you looked used
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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