is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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