I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
