They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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