I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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