it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
