he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
