I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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