this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
