there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My bed smells like the plague
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
