well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
