my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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