I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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