i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
