At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
