Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
