My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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