you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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