No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I have fence marks all over my body
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
