I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
