and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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