I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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