I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
