I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize