Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
