I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
