Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
