singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
