I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
