Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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