It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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