I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
