Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize